


Making Plans

by Casey_K



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fanfiction, M/M, Sexual Content, Undecided Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3116165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_K/pseuds/Casey_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cath gives Steve something to think about and result spurs him into doing something he should have done a long time ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Plans

**Author's Note:**

> not beta'd  
> don't own the boys - unfortunately, sigh
> 
> Just a little ditty from Steve's POV  
> not much in the way of descriptives, but I was lost in their dialogue.

Steve rarely thought about his life. He thought about day-to-day routines, and trivialities. He thought about what was in the cupboard to eat, whether he needed to mow the lawn, if he had time to surf or go the extra mile on his morning swim. He even thought about his family--old and new--and how lucky he was to have friends who had soon become _ohana_ in his strange new arrangement outside of the Navy. But he didn’t think about where any of it was heading. He didn’t think about where he would be in five years, or ten, or even in twelve months’ time, because he’d never had the luxury of planning of that kind in the Navy, and he’d never considered that perhaps he should have, or that he needed to now. So it was a shock when after one of his regular hook up’s with Catherine, she sat him down at the kitchen table and said she wanted to talk. They didn’t talk, in general. They fucked. They didn’t plan, or play happy families. They drank beer, and they let off steam in the bedroom. 

“You don’t have to look so worried,” she said, putting a Longboard on the table in front of him. “I’ll make this as easy and painless as possible.” The slight twitch of a smile at the corners of her mouth told him otherwise, so he grabbed the beer, downed half of it, and hugged the bottle to his chest. 

He thought about second-guessing what she was going to say. She’d be away longer this time, she didn’t want to fuck anymore, she was leaving Hawaii for good, but there was no point. He’d never been able to second-guess her before. He took in a deep laboured breath. “Okay, hit me.”

“I wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking about the future. My future.” She paused to let that sink in and he could feel her weighing him up. “We have a good thing going on but it was never going to work in the long term. I’m not ending it,” she added quickly. “I’m not. It works, right?” Steve nodded, and she smiled. “Right. It’s convenient, it’s fun, and we both see other people when we’re not together.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes and took in the slight flush colouring her cheeks. He knew they weren’t exclusive, it didn’t bother him, she knew that, so why was she bringing it up? Did she want details all of a sudden? He’d heard from other guys that this sometimes happened with their regular hook ups, usually before everything got complicated, serious, and occasionally ugly. He hadn’t thought Cath would fall into the bracket of women who started something casual to get her claws in for the long run. But it wasn’t as though he’d ever understood women in general, so what did he know? 

“Don’t look at me like that, Steve. We both sleep with other people. You’re sleeping with Danny, right?”

“What?”

“Ah, so you do have a voice this morning.” She chuckled. “Look, it doesn’t bother me that you have sex with Danny when I’m out of town. I knew you were bi long before you met him. To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve carried on with our thing being that he’s here all the time, but I’m getting side tracked.”

“What makes you say I’m sleeping with Danny?” He was, of course, but it was supposed to be need to know. Chin and Kono knew because it was part of the team dynamics. They needed to be aware of it because it could affect the way Steve and Danny reacted in the field, but nobody else was supposed to know.

“Steve, I hate to break it to you, but the whole island knows you two have a thing. Just the way you look at each other is enough to broadcast it from the rooftops. But that’s not the point.”

Steve pursed his lips and tried to ignore the comment. “Okay, so what is the point?”

“I’m realising that I want more than casual hook ups. Not right this minute, but it’s fast approaching, and I wanted you to be aware of that and perhaps think about whether you would be willing to consider something more…” She waved her hands as though she was thinking of the right word to use. 

“More what?”

“I don’t know, just more, I guess.”

“You’re asking me if I want more.” He twirled his beer bottle. “With you.”

She thought about it for a moment. “I’m asking if you think there would be a time in the near future when you’d be ready to give up the casual stuff and think about building a life, yes.”

“Give up the casual stuff.”

“Yeah, be like a real couple. No sex on the side. After some time passes maybe think about living together properly, I’m not sure how I feel about marriage, but maybe a kid or two, you know the drill.” 

He drained the rest of his bottle. _A kid or two? Fuck._

“I’m not asking you to make a decision now.” She leaned heavily on the kitchen table. “I’m just saying that’s where my thoughts are going. For the future.”

“Not right now.”

“No, but sometime in the next year. I don’t know how many people you sleep with other than Danny, but I figured the longer you have to think about it the better.”

“None.” He’d said it without realising. Hadn’t wanted to confirm or deny he had a thing with Danny. Too late for that. “It’s just you and Danny. Has been ever since Danny became...” _Everything._ Steve rubbed his hands over his face. Danny, so trusting and reliable. So strong and confident that he insisted Steve keep fucking Cath even though he didn’t really get much out of it the way he used to. Danny, who never said it, but was waiting for Steve to choose between them so they could build a life together. At least that’s what Steve thought, but maybe that was his dream not Danny’s. Danny had never actually said anything about them getting together seriously. 

“Okay, then,” Cath said, obviously surprised. “I don’t know if that makes it easier or harder for you. I’ll be gone about ten to twelve weeks this time. If you need to talk about it just call me.”

“You have others you’re asking too?”

She gave him a knowing smile. “There’s no fooling you, is there? Yes, I will be having this conversation with one other person.” She smirked. “Though my bed count is considerably higher. But you knew that too.” 

Of course he did. He’d waited in a very long line for her, and the line behind him had been twice as long again. Steve snorted and she kissed his cheek. “See you around, sailor.”

Life without Cath. It was easy to consider. She was away more than she was around and if Steve was really honest with himself, when she was around for longer stretches life was actually a lot less fun and a lot more stressful. They were good at casual. They weren’t so good at being together for extended periods. Maybe he’d missed something but he was pretty sure that didn’t bode well for any kind of future life building. 

Life without Danny. Steve clutched at his chest. Unthinkable. Life without Danny in his bed? He’d coped during those early days when they were still testing each other’s boundaries. He’d managed when they first started hooking up after work, before it became a regular thing, and they were figuring out whether it was just letting off steam. But to think of working with Danny on a daily basis and never being able to strip off his clothes and nuzzle into the many, many, sensitive spots over his body, or never being able to go down on him and see the way he lost it before he came…just the thought left Steve bereft and empty. There was no choice that he could see. Cath was casual, and although he cared for her, he had no wish to see more of her let alone build a life and a family with her. Danny, on the other hand, Steve would happily lose himself in Danny for the rest of his days. The problem was Steve had no idea whether Danny felt the same. On top of that, now Steve knew he couldn’t live without Danny, he didn’t know if casual was going to be enough anymore. 

Steve had never considered Danny might be sleeping with anyone else. The occasional woman flitted through the scene but Danny always seemed so full on committed to Steve that Steve never really thought about them, never thought about the fact Danny could be getting naked with them. Thinking about it now was like swallowing a searing hot poker. His fists clenched, his teeth ground out an uncomfortable tune and his tendons felt like they were all going to pop at once. Danny belonged to Steve. Nobody got naked with Danny, nobody saw Danny naked, did things to a naked Danny but Steve. For Steve’s own sanity, he was going to have to make sure Danny got with the program. But he couldn’t go into this all gung-ho. What if Danny only wanted casual? He’d been hurt by Rachel. And Gabby. What if he wasn’t ready for Steve’s confession of undying love? _Love? Holy shit._ Steve’s brain was just full of life changing surprises today. He chuffed out a laugh to himself. “I love Danny. Well, fucking hell.” 

It was a great thing to realise but it didn’t help. The last thing Steve wanted to do was spook the guy. He’d have to come up with a plan. A slow walk towards where he wanted to be, hopefully making it look as though Danny was the one making the decisions. Yes, he could play the slow game. As long as it wasn’t too slow. And it would start with the abstract and then lock down the exclusive nature of their new, definable, thing.

^^^^

The morning had passed in a blur of interviews and phone calls. They sent out for lunch and worked through but as the afternoon drew to a close they were nearing the end of the ‘can’t be left another minute’ jobs related to their latest case. Steve looked around the office at the jaded faces—not good for a Monday—and decided enough was enough. “Time to call it a night,” he said to nobody in particular. 

Kono threw the tablet on the desk and smiled. “You don’t have to tell me twice. Cuz,” she shouted over at Chin, “you want a lift home?”

“Yeah, give me a minute. I’ll meet you outside.”

Steve looked over at Danny who was eying him warily, one eyebrow raised. “What?” Steve asked. 

“It’s only just turned five. On a Monday. When we made it through the whole weekend without a call.” He watched Chin leave the office and placed his own tablet carefully on the table they’d all been working around. “What’s up?”

“Why does something have to be up?” Steve rubbed the back of his neck and knew before he looked up that he’d just given himself away. He huffed. “You want to grab a beer?”

Danny considered him carefully, and Steve felt his face flush. “Are you asking me for a beer, or do you have something else on your mind?”  
Steve shrugged. “If a beer leads to something else, it’s all well and good. We haven’t had a chance to catch up out of work in a while.”

Danny smiled. “If you’re horny for me, you just have to say so.”

Steve grinned. “I’m horny for you, Danny. But then, when am I not?” Steve didn’t catch the slip that time until he realised Danny had tilted his head to the side slightly as though trying to read his thoughts. “Come on. First one to the car gets to top.” That challenge usually gave way to a push and shove race, but Danny was still at the table when Steve let the door to the office swing closed behind him. 

He’d been at the car for five minutes by the time Danny strolled up to him. “Is that a hint that you want me buried inside you?”

“Maybe.” Danny smiled but he didn’t give anything away as to what he was thinking. “Still want that drink first?”

“I have beer at the house.”

“Then let’s go.”

Steve had planned to be all gentle and romantic but he’d ended up pounding into Danny so hard and fast, in a whirlwind of possessiveness and well, Steve couldn’t even get his head around it but he knew he wanted Danny to feel him for a week that they’d fallen asleep straight after. It was still evening when they woke, curled around each other. 

Danny stroked Steve’s face. “You going to tell me what that was about? Not that I’m complaining you understand, but if there’s something on your mind, I’d rather know.”

“I guess I missed you.” Steve kissed Danny’s forehead.  
“I suppose that works. For now.” Danny snuggled in closer, and Steve held on tighter. 

“You ever think about having more kids?” Steve wasn’t sure where the question came from. He was as surprised as Danny that it had just landed there between them.

“More kids? Well,” Danny thought about it, as he did everything Steve asked in earnest, “you know I love Grace with all my heart.”

“I know that.” Steve smiled, and kissed him again.

“But, you know, the break up…with Rachel. It’s been hard on Grace too, and I don’t know if I could put another little one through that, you know?”

“What’s to say you’d break up?”

“What’s to say we wouldn’t?”

“And that’s a reason not to try? Not to enjoy being a father over again?”

Danny shifted and pushed himself up on one elbow to look down at Steve. “Okay, where is this coming from? And you know that even if you fuck me really hard I’m not going to get pregnant, right?”

Steve flushed and looked away. 

“Steven, look at me right this minute.” Steve looked back to meet Danny’s penetrating gaze. “Last time before I get dressed and walk out of here. What is going on?”

“I just…it’s…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them Danny was still looking. “Cath…” Danny’s open gaze shut down immediately and Steve flinched. 

“Wow, that’s…congratulations.” Danny pulled away and covered himself in the sheet from the end of the bed. “I’m really pleased for you. You’ll be a great dad.”

“What? No,” Steve sat up and moved in closer. “Cath’s not expecting.” Danny looked back. Was that relief on his face?” “No, she…this isn’t about her.”

“What is it about then? You’re the one who brought her up, after all.”

“Us.” Danny stared. “Well, me, really. I was wondering whether I wanted to be a dad anytime soon.”

“What has that got to do with me?”

“You’re right, nothing.” Steve slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. _Fucking shit._ “I was just asking because you already have a kid,” he called back, feeling the need to shore up his interest in Danny’s thoughts.

Danny was behind him before he could close the door, crowding him against the wall. “Bullshit, Steven. Now unless you want me to walk out of here and call an end to this whatever it is, you had better start talking.”

Steve sighed. There was no point trying to work an angle. He just needed to come out and say it. He told Danny about the conversation with Cath and then waited for him to process it. 

“So you’re thinking about settling down with Cath and having a family?”  
“No. We don’t have that potential. Not from my side anyway, but it got me to thinking about what I do want.”

“And?”

“Do you fuck other people?”

“What?”

“Do you have sex with other men and women, people other than me?”

“Since when have we ever been exclusive? You fucked Catherine all weekend?”

“I’m just asking the question. I hadn’t given it much thought before but I realise I want to know. If you do.”

“If the answer is yes?”

“I’m not going to freak out, Danny. You said it yourself, we didn’t agree to be exclusive.”

“Okay,” Danny looked at his hands. “I’m not fucking anyone else.”

Steve let out the breath he’d been holding. “Why not?”

“You want me to?”

“Fuck no.” Steve tried not to grin. “I…” he let his head fall back against the wall. “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say it, Danno.” He looked down at Danny’s confused face and traced his cheek with one hand. “I love you.” He kissed Danny tenderly, relishing the subtle compliance in Danny’s posture. “I realised, when Cath asked about a future, that the only future I want is with you. Just you. I’m hoping you’re at least half way there, even if not all the way with the idea.”

“You want us to be exclusive?”

“Yes, and I want us to build a life together. Slowly, no rush, but just kind of drifting in that direction.”

“And you want us to have kids?”

“I’m really not sure where that came from. It caught me by surprise too. But I would. With you.”

“How?”

Steve could feel the pressure of Danny’s gaze heavy upon him and he wanted to bolt, run as fast as he could for as long as he could. But the only place he’d wanted to run to was right here, so he took a deep breath and kept talking. “Surrogate, or adoption. I don’t know. We’d have to see what worked for us. If it works at all after we’ve given it some real thought. I don’t want to rush into anything. It’s just there…as a possibility.”

“Right.”

“You don’t have to decide now.” Danny, the man of so many words Steve couldn’t keep up most of the time, was eerily silent. “Shit, is this all too much?”

“No, I asked what was on your mind. I just wasn’t expecting, kids and futures and I don’t know. Kids should be part of a real family. Marriage and home, and…”

“Then we’ll get married.” Danny looked up at him sharply. “I’m serious. If we decide, somewhere down the line, we want kids together I don’t want to do it half-assed.” Steve gripped Danny’s upper arms. “I’ve just realised I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Danny. Having you here, like this, always. I’m not going to run away from that because you said marriage. Not running from you. Ever.”

“I see.” Danny was staring at the floor between them and Steve panicked. 

“It’s okay, forget I said anything. We can just carry on as we were. It’s great.” Danny looked up at him. “As it is, I mean. I’m happy.” Steve tried to smile. “I won’t be seeing Cath anymore. It wouldn’t be fair after what she’s asked me to consider. But we’re good, right?”

“You don’t have to back track, Steve. If you’ve realised that’s how you feel, it’s good you told me. I needed to know.”

Danny was still crowding him against the wall and it was the only thing helping Steve keep any semblance of composure after Danny’s distinctly cool response. “But you don’t feel the same.” He bit back his disappointment but it was there, hanging off every word. 

“Actually, I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.” Danny pulled Steve back to the bed and sat him down. “I always assumed you would settle down with Cath, or some other female. I never considered you’d want to settle down with me.”

Steve let the words settle into his brain. He looked at Danny, but couldn’t get a read on him. “Why not?” 

“That, I also don’t know.” Danny was watching him thoughtfully. Weighing him up, somehow. “Maybe because you were still seeing Cath. Maybe because we’ve never advertised we’re together. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m not going to take what you’ve said lightly, and I am certainly not going to take it for granted either.”

“I messed up, didn’t I?” Steve flopped back on the bed and wished he could take the whole conversation back. 

“No, Steven, you did not. You have done the right thing. The very rightest thing, and you’ve given me a lot to think about.” Steve huffed and Danny reached over to touch his cheek. “And I am going to think about it.”

“Okay.” 

“So, I’m going to go home now.”

Wait, what? Steve sat up quickly, panic reasserting itself deep inside. “Can’t you think about it here?”

“No, Steven, I cannot. This is too big a thing to put on the back burner while we spend the rest of the evening fooling around.” Danny moved away and started to pull on his clothes, and Steve knew, just knew he’d fucked up but he didn’t know how to stop what was happening. 

“Please, don’t go.” 

Danny picked up his shoes and came over to the bed where Steve was still sitting. He leaned in and kissed Steve’s hair. “I have to. I need some space to think about this objectively.”

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“No, Steve. You don’t need me at the moment. I’m going to take a few days.”

“What? Danny, no, please. I knew I shouldn’t have fucking said anything. Look, we can just carry on as we were. I’m sorry okay, just stay.”

“Now listen to me.” Danny pulled on Steve’s chin. “I mean it. Listen to me. I am not leaving you. I am not ending this. Far from it. But I won’t make the mistake I made with Rachel.”

Steve felt tears welling up, stifled a sob in his chest. 

“I won’t make the mistake of letting things snowball out of control just because it’s easy. I can’t think objectively about you, about us, when you have me all jacked up and high from awesome sex. I don’t want to make this decision with my cock, Steven. I want to make it with my heart. Do you understand?”

Steve choked down another sob. “Come here, you big goof.” Danny pulled him into a hug. “I know I love you. I just need to prove that it’s the real deal to myself.” He pulled Steve up to look at him again. “I need to see it’s more than friendship and great sex pushing me forward. And once I know, I’m all yours babe, for as long, and in whatever way you want. Okay?”

“I don’t understand why you’re leaving.” Steve wiped a tear off his cheek.

“Because otherwise, all I see is you.” He kissed Steve’s cheek where the tear had been a moment before and then he was gone. 

 

Danny was true to his word. He wasn’t at work the next day. Or the day after that, or the day after that. As Friday drew to a close, Steve was so tense he pulled his gun on the cleaner when he came into the office unannounced. He was looking forward to getting home and drinking himself into unconsciousness and missing the entire weekend so he didn’t have to think about where Danny was, with whom, and what he was thinking. As he turned into his street his hands stated to shake. The Camaro was parked on his drive and Danny was leaning against it, waiting. Steve didn’t know if he was relieved or fucking livid. Once he was out of the car, he discovered it was the later. “Not even a fucking phone call,” he said as he marched past Danny to the front door. “How was I supposed to know you hadn’t been kidnapped, or killed?”

“It’s nice to see you, too.” Danny crowded behind him as he fumbled with the keys. Steve pushed the door open and swept inside, leaving Danny on the doorstep. “Can I come in?” he called from the door. “Or are you politely telling me I’m too late and should fuck off?”

Steve huffed. He turned on his heels and headed back to the door, pulled Danny inside and slammed it. The anger was pouring off him. He slammed Danny against the wall and mashed their lips together, forcing entry with his tongue, biting, grabbing at Danny’s body, and Danny let him. When he finally pulled away, he leaned his head against Danny’s. “Don’t ever do that to me again. I can’t…I’ve been a fucking mess without you.”

Danny stroked gentle hands over Steve’s back and shoulders. “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” Steve pulled back to look at him and Danny grinned. “I’m not going anywhere, ever again…unless it’s with you.” And just like that, Steve felt mended. He huffed out a laugh. “I’m in it for the long haul,” Danny said. “I love you, I want your babies, everything, I want it all.”

“Thank fuck for that.” Steve’s knees felt weak. “Because I was seriously considering keeping you under lock and key if you’d have come back with a different answer. I mean it,” he said, looking at Danny’s shocked face. “I’ve been a mess. Chin and Kono were ready to hold an intervention. Everything fell apart without you here.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll have the weekend to ourselves to put you back together.”

“Fuck me,” Steve said. “I want you in me, Danny. Now.” Steve started pulling at Danny’s clothes. “You have no idea how much I missed you.” He was just pulling on Danny’s zipper when the doorbell rang. “Go away!” 

“Boss, open up, or I’ll break the door down.” Kono. “I know Danny’s in there. I’ve seen his car.”

“Come on, babe. We have the rest of our lives. Let’s entertain the team, and give them the news.”

“What news?”

“We’re official.” Danny smiled. “And we’re getting married.” Steve blinked as Danny slipped away from him and opened the door. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Kono asked, dragging him into a hug. “Boss had a break down, or several, every morning you didn’t show up for work.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Back now though.”

“For good I hope?”

“Oh, yeah.” Danny looked over at Steve and smiled. “This time it’s definitely for good.”


End file.
